Alphabet of Daily Life - K

K is for the Kitchen...

This is the heartbeat of our home, where just about EVERYthing happens. When we first moved into our house, the kitchen needed our immediate attention. We had to get rid of the faux flagstone floor, the pink countertops, and the pink, black and cream striped wallpaper scattered with pink flowers. I also did my first tile install, including use of a wet-saw, by putting in a tile backsplash over the counters.

Cooking

Obviously, all of the cooking takes place in the kitchen. After a long day at work, it's nice to just pour a glass of wine, put a good CD into the under-cabinet player, and set to cooking.

I have a beloved cookbook collection (they MUST have pictures...after all, how would someone know how the end result should look without a photo?). And, the cookbooks are used to plan out menus, both for our weekly repasts as well as for parties and holidays. We try to eat something new as often as possible. It's also not at all unusual for us to serve a completely new dish that we've never tried before to guests. So far, everyone's lived.

Canning

Yup, love to can (but not fruits and vegetables). I make chutneys or preserves. My all-time favorite is Victoria Sauce which is a rhubarb chutney; we use it on ham and pork, and also give it out (very parsimoniously) as gifts. I used to have a fabulous old canning set, but gave it to Goodwill in the midst of our moving-into-our-new-house frenzy. So, I now use a large stockpot. It does the same job, but without quite the same degree of convenience.

Homework

The handy counter height table and chairs we added to the "empty" side of the room make great homework and other writing or creative work space. My daughter will often do her homework here while I'm cooking.

Holidays

For some reason, during holidays, EVERYONE ends up in the kitchen. I'm cooking away, usually handing out cooking tasks to others, and everyone mills about or sits at the table, chatting and sniffing the good scents. We're wondering if our recent living room remodel will entice everyone to move into that room or if they'll still stay in the kitchen?
.

Hilarious "Diary" About the Gym

Note: I did not write this! Someone emailed this funny story to me, and it made me laugh. And, I had just published the Elliptical Trainer Tips post, so this was especially timely. I tried to find an author's name somewhere, but didn't spot one...so, if you are the author, my apologies for not crediting you - please let me know.

Our business photographer happens to go to the same gym I do - Planet Fitness - and we recently commiserated about trying to build up our stamina as well as our muscles. Here's the funny email he sent to a group of us who are all painfully trying to get in shape...

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.

THURSDAY:

Christo was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes. He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny broad to find me.Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY:

I hate that crazy Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:

Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

.

Elliptical Trainer Tips

I've been trying to make the switch from the treadmill to an elliptical trainer (the machine with foot pedals and moving hand grips) because I understand that it provides a better lower body workout. However, on the treadmill, I can easily do 3 miles at a Level 15/Random, but could only do 5 minutes or less at Level 1/Random on the elliptical. So, I asked others for advice. They all looked at me like I was nuts when I said I could only manage 5 minutes.

Being a problem-solver, I decided to figure this thing out. I've managed to move up to 10 whole minutes, using these tips:

1. Keep your feet near the front of the pedal, rather than the back. People who can do it will tell you to keep your feet toward the back, to achieve better results. Don't do it! The further back you put your feet, the further you have to reach for the hand grips and the more uncomfortable the workout. Save it for when you're a pro.
2. Do use your heels to push the pedals down, rather than your toes. This will give you a better back-of-the-leg workout, and will save the front of your thighs from screaming after only a few minutes.
3. Don't bother using headphones to watch one of the gym TV shows. First, since the headphone jack is powered by your workout, power stops if you stop or slow down too much. Once power stops, you have to turn the jack back on and re-select your channel, volume, etc. Second, you'll get into a much better groove if you listen to your own iPod or listen to the gym music - it helps you get into a nice stride that makes the workout feel less painful.
4. Use your arms to power the hand grips back and forth, rather than letting your legs do all the work. This not only gives you an arm workout, but also lightens the burden on your legs.
5. Keep your speed up to at least 2.5. If you go slower than this, it's really tough on your upper thighs. Slower is actually harder.
6. Don't go backwards at first. People will tell you that this gives you better results. However, if you are unable to do it for more than 5 minutes, it's not much of a workout. Instead, stick with going forward until your muscles have become used to the movements.

Following these tips will hopefully help other newbies avoid the "jelly legs" that I was getting by doing all the wrong things myself!
.