4,000 Questions - #13: Cash

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Question #13: How much cash do you normally carry with you?

You know, for someone who works for a financial services company, with a bank office right downstairs, I seldom have any cash on me. And, I've discovered that most of my co-workers are the same way! We're so used to using Debit Cards for everything, or using online banking, that we just don't seem to have cash in our purses or pockets. In fact, I'm always a bit perturbed when I actually DO have to pay with cash, which is a rarity. Even fast food restaurants take Debit Cards now.

The photo at right shows the measly four bucks I found when I just checked my purse to answer this question.

TRIVIA: the term "buck" in reference to a dollar comes from the days when buckskin was used as a form of currency.

How much cash do YOU normally carry with you?
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4,000 Questions - #12: Values

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Question #12: What is the one family value you believe in the most?

Growing up, it was a given that individual differences were acceptable and "normal." We were living a rather unusual life ourselves, so not only was this value spoken and implied to us as kids, but we also lived it every day.

We learned that everyone should be able to make choices that suit their own lives and personalities, and that there is no right or wrong way to live, as long as you're not breaking the law or otherwise infringing on others.

It's obvious that this value has been embraced by my family. Anyone stopping by for a visit during a holiday celebration will find such a mix of characters and lifestyles, and every one is "right" for that person.

I try to continue to live this value, and am so glad I learned it as a child. I hope I'm effectively passing it on to my daughter.

What is the one family value YOU believe in the most?.

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4,000 Questions - #11: Under the Bed

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Question #11: What do you have under your bed right now?

All kinds of framed items! First, there is a VERY large painting...it doesn't "go" with my decor but I can't part with it...it was painted by my father when he was young and attending the Cleveland Institute of Art, and he gave it to my Grandmother as a gift. She hung it over the electric organ in her celery green living room (the same organ on which I taught myself to play simplified versions of Swan Lake and Dvorczak's New World Symphony), with a tall stylized red glass vase next to it.

Then there are about 6 other framed certificates and awards. When I was first changing careers, buying a house, and otherwise learning to make it on my own, I read a tip that suggested putting items in a personal room that offered positive reinforcement. So, I framed various certificates and awards and hung them in the family room. After having them up for many years, they took effect. I finally removed them several months ago...they just feel a bit pretentious to me now. I didn't know what else to do with them, so I just piled them under the bed, along with the painting.

What's under YOUR bed?
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4,000 Questions - #10: Home Again

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Question #10: What do you think about young adults living with parents?

I have to admit, I've never really thought that adult kids moving back in with their parents was such a bad thing!?

This communal lifestyle is how families made things work during the Great Depression, and I have a sense that we may be getting back to this extended family living arrangement in our current economic times.

Maybe it's because I grew up in such a large family, so there's a certain comfort in having lots of people around and many hands to lighten the work. Or, maybe it's because we lived with my grandmother for several years, and had the same number of generations and people living in the house as The Waltons. Grandma, Grandpa, Ma, Pa, Mary Ellen, John Boy, and the rest of the Waltons were just the best and the houseful of kids made life so interesting - there was always something new happening.

Or, maybe it's because, as a parent, I know I'll do anything to make my child's life work out to her liking, no matter what that means. If it means her moving back in with me, that's A-OK. (Of course, she'll get to help pay the bills and do the house and yard work, but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.)

What do YOU think about young adults living with parents?

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4,000 Questions - #9: Personality

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Question #9: What one personality trait would you like to have?

This is something I've actually thought about often. I think about it any time I see someone who is calmly even-tempered in just about any circumstance. That's the trait I'd most like to have.

I'm not sure how they do it, really...people with this type of personality just don't seem to get ruffled no matter what's happening. They are still happy, sad, concerned, compassionate - they just don't ever "lose it" over situations.

This seems like a desirable attribute because it must make life so much easier to manage...for both yourself and those around you. And, it probably wreaks a lot less havoc on the nerves! I'm working on learning this, but it definitely doesn't come to me naturally.

What personality trait would you like to have?
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4,000 Quesions - #8: Excitement

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Question #8: What's the most exciting thing you've ever done?

Hmmmm....exciting can have so many meanings. I think I'm going to choose Army Basic Training. It was an incredible experience on so many levels:

• I was only 17, and really didn't understand the concept of signing my actual life over to the US government (GI stands for Government Issue), but had the chutzpah to do it anyway. I made the decison without my parents' knowledge, but had to get their signatures before everything became legal because I was under age.
• To get to Basic, I went on my FIRST airplane ride ever. We actually walked out onto the tarmac and climbed up a set of steps that had been wheeled to the side of the plane.
• It was the first time away from my family, and I was traveling all over the states BY MYSELF in my little "Lady Bug" (that I bought used for $300; I swear it's the car that is used for golf practice in the first few scenes of the movie Tin Cup). People would always beep and wave at me on the highway in my cleverly painted little car (thanks, family), covered with Army stickers.

I joined the Army because I came from a family of 9 children and there was simply no money for college. By joining, I could travel, earn income, AND earn money for college. Not to mention, I could attend college while on active duty, which I did, and ALL expenses were paid for.

There are just so many things about Basic Training that were new and different, I hardly know where to begin:

• Before you read this next comment, and start to wonder about me, let me begin with this disclaimer: I don't currently use or own weapons, and am so glad I never needed to use one to hurt anyone, but I did learn to shoot at targets as a kid and always felt at ease on the rifle range. That being said...I really liked using an M-16! It has a regular and a semi-automatic setting; we only got to use the semi-automatic setting once in awhile, as it used up so much ammo, but it really was fun. I earned my Expert medal for the rifle and the Sharpshooter medal for the grenade.
• I was in the best physical shape of my life, could knock out push ups and sit ups like nobody's business, and was a master of the "front leaning rest." (The only part of PT that I dreaded was running.)
• I could low-crawl in the mud under barbed wire, knew drill and ceremony steps perfectly, and could move lithely through an obstacle course. Like all of the other soldiers, I felt strong and invincible.
• I'm a sucker for precision, so my uniform, bed, locker, boots, patches, etc, were always according to regulation, which usually made my drill sergeants say, as they stood in front of me inspecting me, "Stone, always squared away."

A funny story I remember is from my very first formal inspection. I had never heard the term "Army brat" but sort of grew up like one. When the Captain, who was very scary to me, and his entourage got to me (remember...I'm a Virgo...everything in my locker was folded and placed EXACTLY according to the Army manual), he looked over me and my area and said, "Stone, are you a military brat?" As far as I knew, a "brat" was a derogatory term to describe an ill-natured person. So, I had two options:

1. AGREE with the Captain, and call myself a bad name.
2. DISAGREE with the Captain, and maybe fail inspection or make Basic life hard for myself.

What was I supposed to do? Standing stiffly at attention, my fingers gripped the seams of my pants and my eyes stared unwaveringly ahead. In my 17-year-old-oh-my-God-this-is-the-Captain stupor, I said the first thing that came to mind: "I don't know, sir." He just looked at me funny and kept moving on down the line of scared soldiers. I can only imagine what he must have been thinking.

Photo info: (yes, these photos were taken with a Polaroid, which was my first camera purchase ever...film is no longer made for these!)
Photo #1: Me after Basic Training graduation, in my Class Bs and my Clark Kents.
Photo #2: Crossing into Alabama on my way from South Carolina to Texas, with the odometer about to hit 100,000 miles and me in my old style BDUs (Battle Dress Uniform); now, they're made in a camouflage pattern, but the first set I was issued was this olive drab color.

Your turn...what's the most exciting thing you've ever done?
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4,000 Questions - #7: Unrequited Love

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Question #7: Who was your unrequited love?

This one is in honor of Valentine's Day!

Are you out there Eddie Evjan? I first met Eddie, and his friend Ronnie Richardson, when I was at my 91C phase one training as a Medic in the Army. We were at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, Texas and I had just turned 18.

Eddie and Ronnie were in my unit, and we usually ended up near each other in formation. Units like ours were often "assigned" to military ceremonies at the parade grounds. We seldom knew what the ceremony was for or who was being honored, but a show of troops, well trained in drill & ceremony and looking spiffy, was needed for effect. As we stood through these ceremonies, standing ramrod straight and listening to the drone of the speakers, we would often chat in quiet voices, moving only our lips.

During these chats, Eddie, Ronnie and I became fast friends and often hung around together in our off-time. At this point in my life, I had to wear black "Clark Kents" - military issue glasses; personal frames were not permitted. I also had a short and unflattering haircut and didn't know too much about makeup. And I was thin and wiry. Eddie and Ronnie liked our three-musketeer friendship, but I don't think Eddie ever felt anything more than that for me.

For me, it was a different story. Eddie was in my dreams and he was all I thought about as I learned how to fill syringes, give shots, and create and maintain a sterile field. He had black spiky hair and a mustache, and as I recall, he was Norwegian. He was a little older, maybe in his 20s. To most of us, he was an "older guy."

In my naivete, I began to display signs of liking him as more than a friend - unskilled flirtatiousness, "accidentally" bumping into him or brushing against him, constantly trying to be around him. The poor guy. I was just so smitten.

One night, we were walking back to the barracks together on a cool November Texas evening - the sky was wide and dark and full of stars that time of year. He was gently explaining to me that he really thought of me as a friend, but not more than that. My heart was broken, even as I knew this moment would have to come - I had sensed that my love was unrequited.

We stopped for a moment, standing on the sidewalk outside our buildings in the chilly darkness, with only a few street lamps for light and no one around. Somehow - I really can't recall how it was initiated - Eddie agreed to give me just one kiss. My god, he gave me the kiss of my life. It was long and soft and the world went away. I think he took care to make it extra special for me. Then we went our separate ways, and we didn't hang around as buddies anymore - I think he didn't want to lead me on.

I remember Eddie every now and then, and think of that kiss...that kiss...

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4,000 Questions - #6: Supermarket

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Question #6: Tell about an incident with a child in a supermarket or store.

We really never suffered through some of the tough-parenting-situations-in-grocery-stores that I've seen so often on "Super Nanny," thankfully. I really don't know how I would have handled such monstrous ordeals. I've been blessed with a well-behaved girl. We've been grocery shopping together for many, many years, and here's how we've handled it during various stages of her childhood:

1. Toddler: when my daughter was under 3, she rode around the grocery store buckled into the front basket of the grocery cart, where I could see her and talk to her. Our first stop was always to the produce section, where we immediately grabbed her a packet of freshly sliced raw mushrooms or pea pods. These were her special favorites; she would munch away as we shopped, and then we'd just put the empty packet on the checkout belt and pay for the container. She's horrified now, to think that she ate raw mushrooms, but she loved them then.
   



2. Youngster: when she was a little older, my daughter LOVED to ride in the grocery cart that looked like a car from The Flintsones. We'd head directly to the book section, she'd choose a book or two to read as we shopped, and then off we'd head to get our groceries. She quietly and studiously read to herself as I filled the front of the cart. Then she could buy the books at the checkout, so she was always adding to her home library. (This photo isn't exactly like the one in our Stop N Shop, but it's pretty darn close.)




3. Child: when she was 10 or so, Mrs. Claus gave her walkie talkies for Christmas! Such a great gift for a girl this age. She would take her walkie talkie to the next aisle over and look for the item I had "assigned" her. She was just so funny, really. She would ask me detailed questions on her walkie talkie, taking extra care to make sure she chose just the right product. She doesn't know that I was so often rolling with laughter, even as my eyes were tearing with love over her precious earnestness as she whispered her questions to me into her walkie talkie.




4. Teenager: now she is often with a friend when we shop. I usually "assign" her the items that she'll be eating herself - granola bars, juice, and other snack foods. It's interesting to help her understand about unit prices and help her learn how things "work" in a grocery store so she'll be able to do this herself one day. I think she'll be a little more interested when she is actually shopping for herself and learning to make weekly meal menus and stay within a budget (although she IS a really good budget shopper).

Well that's our story of my daughter coming of age in the grocery store. Your answer...
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4,000 Questions - #5: Principal's Office

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Question #5: Did you ever go to the principal's office?

My Answer:

I was one of those "good" little kids - usually the teacher's pet, top grades, never in any trouble, etc. But, once, in 2nd grade in Buckeye, Arizona, I didn't hear the bell ring after recess. My friend and I were still on the swings, and we both ran into class late, once we noticed that the playground was deserted.

It doesn't seem like a terrible offense, but our teacher sent us to the Principal's office. This was horrifying treatment for a goody-two-shoes to suffer. What made it even worse was that they still practiced corporal punishment. We actually had to bend over the desk and got a few whacks with what I remember was a ping pong paddle. Nothing that hurt terribly, but it certainly did sting our pride.

Your Answer:

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4,000 Thousand Questions - #4: Photos

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And, here's Question #4: What is your favorite family photo?

My Answer:

Of my family from when I was a kid, I love the photo that was taken on the front lawn at my Grandma Ann's house at 1149 DeForest Street in Schenectady, New York. All 9 of us kids are in the shot except for my brother Garry (I'm not sure where he was that day). It's summer, and we 4 younger girls are all in matching outfits made by my Grandma Ruth; the 3 littler girls are in pinafore style dresses, but, because I'm older, mine is a skirt and top. (My grandmother later remade my outfit into a dress for my doll, Helena - I still have and treasure the doll and the outfit). We're all in our best knee socks and new shoes that were bought for our long ride on the Trailways bus from Manitou Springs, Colarado to Schenectady. My big sister Ruth is in one of her mini skirt outfits that she wore to her job in Albany. And, the boys are in their funky 70's clothes.

Of my family now, I love the photo of my daughter and me at the scenic lookout in the Badlands in South Dakota. We're leaning against the protective railing, and a breathtaking and expansive view is behind us. My daughter is wearing a t-shirt that says "Blonde AND Smart." The shot was taken by a biker dude who was on his way to the big motorcycle rally in Sturgis. I like the shot because it takes me back to one of one of our best adventures ever, and reminds me to keep having more.

Your answer...

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4,000 Questions - #3: Careers

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And, here's Question #3: How many times have you changed careers or line of work?

My Answer:

In High School, I worked for a visiting nurse organization; I did the unskilled work, like helping with bathing and dressing. I found that most of my clients, who were usually elderly and infirm, were less interested in getting help with their physical care, and more interested in having someone to talk to and to listen to them.

In the Army, I was a Medic (91C10, for anyone who knows what that means; this MOS is no longer available, but that's what I was while I was on active duty). My permanent assignment was at Fort Gordon, Georgia, where I worked at DDEAMC on 6West (Labor/Delivery/Post-Partum).

During College, I waitressed and was even promoted to hostess and waitstaff trainer!

With my new Art degree, I went to work in a local framing shop/art gallery. This job was REALLY fun, but I was also married, so didn't need to make enough money to support a family (which I didn't!). I did that for nearly 13 years and loved the work.

After getting divorced and becoming a single mom, I needed to support a family. So, I decided business was the way to go, got myself back to college, and earned a Master of Business Management degree. I then began as a Management Trainee in a bank, and I'm now the Vice President of Marketing for a financial company.

Your Answer...
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4,000 Questions - #2: Unusual Films

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And, here's Question #2: Are you a fan of any unusual music or film?

My Answer:

I'll choose film, since that's where my interest lies. I can't say I'm a fan of an unusual film, but I DO have a fun hobby...I'm in the process of watching every Oscar-nominated movie since the Oscars were first given out in 1928. I'm currenly in 1940. (Thank goodness for Netflix, which has so many of the older and uncommon movies.)

As I move through each year in film, I not only get to watch stars and directors develop over time, but I also get to see the changes our own American culture has gone through. This hobby has actually been a quirky and engaging study of cultural anthropology!

One of my daydreams is to hold (not just see) an Oscar of one of the stars or films I admire. And, of course, Oscar night is our superbowl!

Your Answer...

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4,000 Questions - #1: Growing Up

While shopping on Amazon one day, I happened upon a book called "4,000 Questions for Getting to Know Anyone and Everyone."

I bought it because I wanted to use it at family get-togethers and other parties. I don't know if our parties are like yours, but so often, we only skim the surface with one another: how's work, what are the kids up to, can you believe the price of gas, and so on. We leave so much about each other unknown and unasked, mostly because we just don't think of clever questions to ask.

So, after buying the book, I put the questions on little slips of paper, and I pull them out at holidays. At first, everyone groaned about having to answer random questions, but they've come to realize just how fun it is to find out such interesting new things about each other and they actually look forward to it.

I also thought the questions might work well on a blog, so here's what I'm going to do...I'll state the next question in the book, provide my own answer to it, and then hope that any visitors ALSO answer the question in the Comments section. What do you say?

Question #1: Where did you grow up?

My Answer:

When I was first born, my parents and my 4 older siblings lived on a houseboat called the Wayward Wind in Fairport Harbor, Ohio. I have no memories of that, but have seen photos and it looks like it was pretty cool.

My father then felt the need for even more adventure, so he bought an old 1948 flatbed truck, named it John Henry (after that steel drivin' man), and proceeded to build us a home on wheels. I guess you could say it was an early custom RV! We had a wood stove for heat, kerosene lamps for light, no TV, but we did listen to radio shows...I well remember Fibber McGee & Molly!

On the side of the truck, he painted a map of the US, with the title: "48 States in a 48 Truck." Then, as we traveled, he painted a red dotted line to show our route on the map. We traveled all over the US during the summers; when it was time to start school, we just stopped in whatever town/state we were in and registered for school. By the end of our travels, there were 9 kids, 2 cats, 2 dogs, a bird, and other pets that came and went. I've attended schools all over the US, have been to 49 out of 50 states (still need to get to Alaska!), and have never lost the wanderlust!

Your answer...

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