Monday, March 30, 2009

4,000 Questions - #10: Home Again


Here's the background info on the 4,000 Questions posts.

Question #10: What do you think about young adults living with parents?

I have to admit, I've never really thought that adult kids moving back in with their parents was such a bad thing!?

This communal lifestyle is how families made things work during the Great Depression, and I have a sense that we may be getting back to this extended family living arrangement in our current economic times.

Maybe it's because I grew up in such a large family, so there's a certain comfort in having lots of people around and many hands to lighten the work. Or, maybe it's because we lived with my grandmother for several years, and had the same number of generations and people living in the house as The Waltons. Grandma, Grandpa, Ma, Pa, Mary Ellen, John Boy, and the rest of the Waltons were just the best and the houseful of kids made life so interesting - there was always something new happening.

Or, maybe it's because, as a parent, I know I'll do anything to make my child's life work out to her liking, no matter what that means. If it means her moving back in with me, that's A-OK. (Of course, she'll get to help pay the bills and do the house and yard work, but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.)

What do YOU think about young adults living with parents?
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10 comments:

MellissaD said...

I have no problem with adult children living with their parents, providing they're contributing to the running of the household financially and physically (circumstances permitting, of course!).

I can see it happening more often as the economy worsens, and if all parties are pulling their weight, it could probably work out best for all involved.

:)

Kelly said...

I agree with you. You are a parent for life. The only time I disagree is when the kids start to take advantage of their parents, and also miss out on leaning how to look after themselves and be independent.

If my kids need to stay with me into adulthood, I'll be letting them, so long as they contribute to the household as if they were living independently.

LoveANewIdea said...

Melissa-
Thank you for visiting and commenting! I enjoy reading your funny tweets. It looks as if we're seeing the answer to this question exactly the same way - no problem sharing my house, as long as you share the load. Hope you stop by again soon.

Kelly-
You have been a busy lady! Lots of funny tweets, all kinds of cool techie changes on your blog every time I turn around, quitting smoking, thinking about a job...holy cow!

And, I agree...no problemo having the kids come home again, as long as they chip in fairly (and pleasantly) with both money and household help.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

It's so common down here that it seems normal. Kinda surprised me when I first arrived. As long as everyone contributes, no worries.

There's four adults living in the household and it let's us afford to lease a really big house.

Blair said...

Man oh man...If I lived near home, I definitely would have moved back in with my mom after graduating last year! It's really been tough trying to get on my feet, and work towards becoming financially independent. So just from personal experience, I think it's great when parents help support their kids while they're trying to find their own way in the world. :)

LoveANewIdea said...

Dave-
Sounds like it's more common in Oz that it is in the US? It's almost frowned upon here...recently read an article in Money magazine about how to make sure your kids don't stay long if they return to the nest. Sounds like you have a fun houseful...does everyone get to test the beer?

Blair-
Good to hear a first-hand perspective. I really don't know how young people do it on their own - the gap between a new employee's salary and the average cost of living seems to have grown so wide. I bet your mom wishes you were close by too, and would probably LOVE to have you home with her.

Blair said...

Yes, I'm sure she would like to have me back home! We're two peas in a pod, so it's tough to be so far away. Actually, I really like reading your posts about you and your daughter--you seem to have such a fun, close relationship with her!--and it reminds me of me and my mom.

Also, I think another interesting thing to consider is that most young adults WANT to become independent, even when they aren't able to immediately. It's a source of pride to be able to pay your entire rent! But most of my friends from college are still relying, in some way, on their families to make ends meet, even when they would rather do it on their own.

Anyway, great question! This one really hits home for me at the moment. :)

Alaska-womom said...

I also think living with the folks is fine-like everyone else said, as long as they are respectful and contribute-otherwise it is time to childproof the house and change the locks.(evil mom snicker)
J.

LoveANewIdea said...

J.-
Sounds like all of our kids can count on us to welcome them back to the fold anytime!

LoveANewIdea said...

Blair-
Thanks for your nice comments about my blog posts and about me and my daughter. We get along wonderfully, and do most things together. I'm hoping we can maintaing a great relationship even when she goes off to do her own thing. Of course, she can always come home any time - I'd love to come home and find dinner made or the house cleaned!

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